?

Log in

No account? Create an account
This is my brain on too many episodes of The Dukes of Hazzard! - Musings of a mad man. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
A Psychopathic Poet, The Devil's Bastard Son.

[ website | "Oh my God! Teletubbies go to war." (Quote is from The Amazing Race, however the link has nothing to do with that!) ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

This is my brain on too many episodes of The Dukes of Hazzard! [Nov. 29th, 2012 at the third stroke, the time will be 05:01 pm]
A Psychopathic Poet, The Devil's Bastard Son.
[Caution! Curefreak is |optimisticoptimistic]
[Annoying the neighbours with |"Hey Hey, My My" In My Pants....Battleme]

I think I may have come across a way to finally become rich by doing very little. As those among you will know this is my life's ambition as I am lazy and self entitled - well it is when I can be bothered, which frankly isn't very often, though I see no reason why I should be bothered, but anyway...

I am going to buy myself an American car. I am then going to sue the car maker as when I spin the wheels, or slide the car around a corner or come to a sliding braking halt on a dirt road, or sand even, there is no tyre/tire squealing sound. You see every American TV show I have grown up with has their cars making this sound on dirt roads and sand so it must be true.

Before you all call me crazy, relax, I have a Plan B too. If the above law suit fails I will sue Hollywood for misrepresenting American cars and shattering my dreams.

Still not convinced? That's ok, I have a Plan whatever letter comes after B too! I can always go on the talk show circuit as the filer of ludicrous and unsuccessful law suits!

So now please send me money so I can buy an American car and get rich - Oh and yeah, I guess I'll pay you back the money sometime after I get rich ok?
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: koulagirl666
2012-11-30 10:02 am (UTC)
Can you buy lots and save the manufacturing industry please?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-03 10:56 pm (UTC)
Only if people around here donate generously - or I take up an alternate career or 50.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: koulagirl666
2012-12-04 01:04 pm (UTC)
:(
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-01 07:29 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, if we can sue Hollywood for misrepresenting things and shattering our dreams, I would be a zillionaire and Hollywood would be bankrupt!

I'd offer to send you an American car... but mine is Japanese. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-03 10:58 pm (UTC)
I have an odd feeling that you are a Honda driver - and no, that's not because I saw it parked on your driveway on my way to your bedroom window.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-03 11:34 pm (UTC)
Well as you discovered from my photo post, you've been at the wrong window. Toyota. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-04 12:00 am (UTC)
That was actually between my first and second guess, I was wavering, but given that Toyota is such a prolific seller I thought it would be rather a naff guess. I myself drive a Mazda.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-04 01:10 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, I drive a classic soccer mom car. I love my car, I just wasn't very original in my choice, I guess.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-04 02:21 am (UTC)
Well my Mazda is a Mazda 6, not the RX-8 and certainly not a Porsche, so really I am sitting in a glass house with quite a lot of stones, though I do like it it is unlikely to get me laid *lol*.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-04 03:23 am (UTC)
Yeah well my Toyota isn't doing that for me either.

Besides, just having a job and a car puts you ahead of a lot of other men...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-04 07:03 pm (UTC)
Well you shouldn't have got the windows of your car tinted so dark!

Oh yeah, the men I am ahead of are real Casanovas I assure you :P
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-05 12:19 am (UTC)
Haven't you seen this list?

http://www.jokesplace.com/joke/what_women_want.html

You are knocking them out of the park for 42 year old men! Owning a car isn't even on the list (although it assumes you can drive and have access to one). So you get bonus points! (Plus a Mazda 6 is a nice car!)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-05 02:29 am (UTC)
Wow, that's funny AND insightful! No wonder I am still a virgin!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-06 12:05 am (UTC)
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

You should definitely be able to impress a 72 year old woman! Or do you have trouble with item #2 on the list?

Nevermind, don't tell me.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2012-12-09 07:04 pm (UTC)
"Nevermind, don't tell me."

You'd prefer a video perhaps? Hmmm???
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: elizaswain
2012-12-09 11:30 pm (UTC)
Good God, no! I don't need proof either way, I am more than happy to take your word for it. Actually, I don't even need to know at all... oh, curefreak, way to ruin all those sexy daydreams. Now all I can think about is whether you miss the toilet.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2013-01-06 08:16 pm (UTC)
Trust me I have no issues with missing the toilet. In fact I often find myself travelling around the S-Bend. I assume the sexy daydreams are now well and truly reinstated (Oh and yes, I realise I am such a guy thinking this would reinstate sexy daydreams *lol*).
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: eyesonstars
2013-01-10 12:43 am (UTC)
Plan C might work if you could also convince the courts that you weren't starting to exhibit signs of insanity. Otherwise, you're in the nuthouse, duuuuddde.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: curefreak
2013-01-10 01:06 am (UTC)
Thank goodness for internet anonymity ;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)