||[Jan. 31st, 2013 at the third stroke, the time will be 10:55 pm]
A Psychopathic Poet, The Devil's Bastard Son.
I will NOT kill my boss.
This counts as a disclaimer that will stand up in a court of law right? I mean if she is found with an axe through the back of her head no one will look at me with accusing eyes. Everyone will all assume, based on this post, that she tripped over a lawn mower and fell backwards on to an axe in a rare, ok, extremely rare (think Halley's Comet to the power of 10 rare) moment of attempting to do something other than delegate work while waddling around like a penguin who owes a loan shark a large sum of money and donated their kneecaps as a down payment on the overdue sum of money.
No, it wasn't me, I wasn't even there. HONEST!
... someone whom I know intimately well knows the feeling.
Perhaps it is contagious! *Wonders if this could be a successful defence*.
Ok, I will add that to my agenda of laws to change when I assume the role of unchallenged world leader.
I think this would stand up in court. You might want to keep your fingers crossed for her safety, though, because there is always the chance that after her untimely death, an even worse person would take over her job. (Unless you're the next in line.)
I will admit I'm having fun picturing a penguin who owes a loan shark a large sum of money and donated their kneecaps as a downpayment... I wish you could sketch that for me, it would add so much the story. I mean, to the testimony. That you won't be the one who does it.
I am far too competent to be the next in line, which given I am a complete clusterf**k says something *lol*.
Perhaps, as a picture is worth a thousand words, I could secretly video tape her and post it anonymously on youtube, with me in the background via a reflection and a panoramic shot so that it can be seen we are in fact nowhere near the axes and lawnmowers!
Well that sounds like most management promotion strategies - promote the idiots, keep the ones who know what they are doing to do the actual work.
Maybe you could arrange for her to be on a documentary of some sort, so that the cameras can prove your innocence!
Hey, I have over 20 years experience in management...Oh, wait, yeah, I guess that only adds to your argument.
Well on the plus side the camera crew for the documentary wouldn't have to move a lot or particularly quickly given her down payment to the loan shark.
The tag from AMA "This is useless without pics" comes to mind. I really want you to draw a cartoon of this or something.
Trust me, it would be hilarious, not because it would be representative but my lack of artistic skills would make it extremely humourous!
Photoshop, then, maybe? You can't do worse than some of the other stuff out there. I just saw a post the other day of people who badly photoshopped their profile pictures. You could tell they augmented their breasts or butt because the lines in the walls behind them suddenly got curvy around them too.